There's a bat in the living room.
UPDATE: the spousal unit and Reserve Cat, implementing the “hammer-anvil” strategy perfected by the Army of Northern Virginia, trapped Mr. Bat and evicted him. My part in the action consisted of target identification and rear-echelon security.
Any claim that I shrieked “BAT!” and fled, slamming the bedroom door behind me, should be rejected by all right-thinking persons as a base, malicious falsehood.